Nervously Excited With a Pinch of Apprehension

     So much has been going on lately!  It's like a mad house in here!  I suppose I should start from the beginning of my booked session of summer.  First week, July 22- July 27 was band camp!  Was that an amazing week or what?  The answer would be what.  I tried so hard not to show it, but it really hurt to be there.  We have to do soooo much walking and usually it's not a problem, but I tore my meniscus at the end of May and my knee just hasn't been the same.  It hurt so much to hike up those hills that everyone wanted to take because they were "shortcuts".   -_-  Yes it was a "shortcut" to make me hike up a steep incline and then go up 20 bazillion stairs.  I even skipped out on the dance because my knee hurt so much, but that wasn't the only reason.  I left because I wanted to hang out with the guy who I've been chasing since last year at band camp, but I found out he was chasing after an ex-band camper now turned theatre camper.  It was horrible.  But there were pluses!  I got into the jazz band, and have a promised spot for next year, got into the higher band, AND got a $50 scholarship.  Like a boss.                                                          

Children

Having my niece and nephew over only for a little over two hours has made me realize that I probably couldn't handle children.  Nothing against them, but I get really flustered really easily, and I've always been afraid that one day I'll explain and maybe hit one of them.  They really are little snots sometimes, but I love them a lot.  I've really thought over the whole having children thing, and I hold firm to saying that I will never have any children.  I know it's the most typical thing tennagers say, but I say it for different reasons.  I think it would be cruel to introduce a child into the world that would have so many genetic predispositions.  I'm already a ticking time bomb because of my parents' background with heart disease, diabetes, cancer, mental insanity, and suicide.  I don't think I could bring myself to allow someone to have so many set backs before they've even begun to truly live.  I'm determined that if I suddenly decide to have children that I will adopt.  There are so many children out in the world dieing of starvation.  Why not give someone deserving a good home?

A Quaint First

Today I spent a vast majority of my day at Adam Yakes' house.  It sounds quite unlikely to many of the people in our social circles, but it was actually quite fun!  It sounds pretty lame, but all we really did was watch crazy YouTube videos, talk about tech., play with dogs, and chill.  It was nice to be able to get my mind off of all the stuff that's been going on in my life. 

Why the hell not add random gifs and pics?

When my day with Adam was finished I frolicked over to the soccer fields for some training with my fellow field mates, but I must say I was rather disappointed.  Captains' practices are never as productive as I want them to be, and then the people that are supposed to be running it leave early?  Losers :p  I guess it was good because my knee needed a break, but I just really wanted to get an intense workout.  The only upside though, was that they have the sprinklers on, so we just run through them when we get tired.  Yes we're cool kids :D  I guess for the rest of the day/night I'm just going to sit on the computer and mentally scold Adam for never answering his phone.
Bye!! :3 <3

Bonding

Today I got to go and see the Madison Scouts.  They're so hot and sexy :3, but I also got to hang out with my lovely friends, Riley, Trevor, and a new addition I haven't talked to in ages, Ben.  Ben moved away after middle school and we were never really close to start with, so we didn't stay connected.  He's a pretty awesome person; he's nothing like what I thought he was.  He was funny and quite frankly a blast to be around.  Hopefully we get to hang out more in the future.

Boom Chicka Boom

On Friday I met WILS.  WILS is short for Wisconsin Leadership Seminars, and has made my mind feel at home.  We started very early in the morning on Friday, June 15th.  We then proceeded to get a rather invigorating presentation by Paul Wesselmann, a rather refreshing human being to be around.  He taught me that sometimes I have to go out of my comfort zone to be successful, and maybe I'll try that.  Maybe I'll start surrounding myself with people that are different than me, people that process their thoughts in a different way than mine.
This speech was amazing, but we were later then organized into our small groups that were represented by countries.  I was in Ireland and so were six other people.  My mind couldn't help but automatically judge them by what they were wearing, what shoes they had on, and just their faces in general.  This happens to everyone, no matter how much of a leader you are.  Being a strong leader means that you don't take those judgments into action and you treat everyone equally though.
Our group dynamic warmed up very quickly as we started to feel more comfortable around each other, and sooner than later we were like a family.  We shared many things with each other that I don't think we could have shared with people from our school.  It was nice to feel like I belonged to a family and have people proud of me.  I hope I see these people again because they really are close to my heart.
All of the activities that we did will impact me for the rest of my life, even if it's because of something somebody said during the activity or because of the activity itself.  I can't wait to go to all of the reunions and be a part of WILS for the rest of my life.

 Where there's a WILS there's a way. -Darin Eich

Officially The End

Why do I have so much going on??!

I officially have finished school for the year!  I can't believe it!  I'm so excited for the freedom of summer; swimming, being with friends, staying up late, but a little part of me is also really sad.  This is the end for the seniors, and I'm going to miss them.  I hope I can go on without them.  I'm also really nervous for summer.  I have so much going on!  I have officer meetings for Leadership, a leadership seminar, rehearsals, TWO shows to put on, band camp, Google Ninja training, soccer camps, tennis training, and so many social conventions that I just wanna fall in a hole!  I'm not going to stay sane this summer.  There is no way.  :(  meerrhhh

The End of What I've Known

The end is so close it's painful!  All that's left is two days of finals and school is over!  I'm excited, but at the same time very sad.  I had a lot of senior friends and I don't know what I'm going to do without them.  Especially my dear, dear Jenna Hensley.  She was definitely my partner in crime on the stage.  We made the greatest old ladies our stage has probably ever seen.  The thing that scares me the most though is that now I'm going to be the upperclassmen that the freshmen and sophomores are going to be looking up to.  I want to be a good role model, and now I'm really going to have to buckled down and learn how to cover lines.  What will I ever do without Jenna?  She was what I modeled my whole acting career around.  She helped me run lines and change the dialect so we could get feelings and emotions across to the audience.  She covered for me so many times it was crazy.  The stage won't be the same, but I hope I can honor her by being the best actor I can possibly be.  I love you so much and I hope I get to see you again. <3 

Beauty

Beauty.  We find it in so many places, but many people forget about the beauty in nature.  This beauty has been here since before our race was even created.  We take it for granted.  We must realize though that these glorious sights won't be around very long.  We need to learn to preserve our magnificent environment.  I hope  sights like this will still be around for my children, my grandchildren, for the rest of time.  Until this Earth dies, and implodes upon itself.

Just Because

     My favorite gifts in the whole entire world!  I love just because gifts because it shows the person knows you well enough.  It shows that when that person saw the object it immediately spoke your name.  It makes me feel amazing on the inside when I come home and there's something on the counter and I don't know what it's for.  Now don't get me wrong.  I'm not spoiled and get presents all the time, but every now and again I do.  Some of my favorite presents are just because presents.

So comfy :3

     My favorite pair of socks ever, IN THE WORLD, are a pair of socks I found laying in our rocking chair in the living room.  I had no idea what they were for.  I was so confused.  Why were there Wisconsin Badger socks in my rocker?  Then, three days later my dad finally told me that they were for me.  Who would have thought?

Perfect description of me

     My favorite coffee mug; yep it's a just because gift.  My mom found it one day when she was in a gas station on her way to work.  She told me that she saw it and she immediately thought about me.  It made me feel really warm and fuzzy on the inside because me and my mom aren't very close, and to think she went out of her way to do that really made my day.  I love this mug and I use it almost everyday.  It contains the concoction that kick-starts my day, and it in turn makes me think about my mom everyday.
     Wow this has been a good blog.  I'm impressed.
                                                          Forever Yours,
                                                                     Lori Heinemann

Im falling apart. The last few days of school are stretching my stress levels. Theres so much to be done in so little time. :p I dont know what to do!

Abuse

Oh dear, sweet, lovely blog, I'm sorry.  Forgive me?  I'm terrible at doing this stuff!  I get out of the groove of writing every day and then it's just all down hill from there.  I really would like to do this, even though nobody reads this, it helps me get my thoughts out.
Lately I've been feeling a little bit angsty to tell the truth.  I'm terribly sorry though.  I shall leave you with an amazing site :D
http://memeblock.com/

Loss

      Loss is a horrible thing, and with it comes pain and suffering.  On February 18, 2012 I lost my uncle.  It was awful to stare into his open casket and to think I would never be able to talk to him again.  There was so much pain, and remorse in the room.  It was unbearable, but the only up side to the loss was that everyone was there.  It's the first time I've seen my entire family all at the same time.  I know it sounds sad, but it was nice to see my family.  I had always been the one off in the corner because there was never anybody in my age group, but at the funeral it didn't matter.  I truly felt all the love of every family member radiating around the room.
     Coming back from loss is harder though.  I thought I would just want to fall in a hole and never come back out, but my friends were there for me.  There were so many hugs and "are you ok's" that I felt like the most important person in the world.  The thing that made it even better was that I didn't have to say anything.  They could tell right away that something was off.
     It's definately hard moving on from such a big death, but I think I'll manage.

Words

Words can be inspiring, but they can destroy.  Words create what we are; our very essence.  They may hurt us over and over, but from the right person they can heal us.  It doesn't take a lot of words just a few to show you care.  They make us feel loved and at home.  I want to heal, create, inspire with my words.  I try to think wisely before I say anything, but sometimes my heart gets a little mad and my words show it.  I've hurt a few people with my words, but I had the sense to apologize.  I try to send love with every message because I want my loved ones to stick around.  "Love, it will not dismay, enrage, or enslave you.  It will set you free." -Shakespeare
This was inspired by my amazing friend Dylan and his passionate writing <3 love you :3

Inside

Dreams are our inner thoughts; the things our mind doesn't want us to see.  It hides them away deep inside and then springs them on us when we're most vulnerable.  Our dreams are always important, but why is it that we can never remember them?  They seem so vivid, fluid, clear, but when we wake up they're gone.  How is it that we can forget something so important?

Friends :3

My friends are my life, and like any other teenager we spend every living second together or texting.  I love them so much and I hope our friendships last.  Through all the drama we've survived I'm sure we can manage it, but you never know.  They come before my family sometimes in my mind.  We are connected through a tremendous bond.


















I'm not always the most gorgeous, graceful, or intelligent person in the world, but they love me no matter how grumpy I am.  No matter how many weird look we get when we run down the aisles of Wal-Mart we'll always keep running, smiling, and laughing. We're fearless because we have each other.  We take life "by the horns" and take as many risks as when can handle because we know if something back fires somebody will be there to listen.  They won't sugarcoat things.  They'll simply tell you that you did wrong, and then help you through the recovery.

 We're crazy, insane teenagers.  We get mediocre grades, play intense truth or dare, and pull ridiculous all-nighters.  I love my friends so much.  I hope we can last forever, and no matter how cliche it sounds it's true.  I love them <33333                                               

Just checking

Music Is My Crutch

Every day with you is a constant task, but I won't let it get me down.

Long Time No See

So many things have passed, but tomorrow's a new day.  The adventure will always continue.